I often quip that I have a bachelor’s degree in animal science, a master’s in environmental management, and a PhD in shit shoveling.  If you are an owner of livestock, then I’m sure you hold that very same title.  Manure is a part of life and managing it requires time, sweat equity, and hopefully someone to help manage the excess.  My tiny hobby farm boasts 3 horses, 4 goats, and 8 chickens.  That is more than enough manure for this 7 acre plot.  Daily I muck, scrape, and rake all three kinds (as well as bedding and discarded hay) and load up my trusty yellow wheelbarrow leaving the horse stalls, goat shed, and chicken coop ready for another round of animal activity. Then the fruit of my labor is dumped in the designated manure pile (or the gardens) where it will degrade and decompose into the finest blend of black dirt.  This is where the real management comes into play.  With such large quantities it is necessary to turn and aerate the pile so the microbes can do their job of turning the organic waste into nutrient dense compost.  This process is made possible with the help of a bucket loader and my trusty pitchfork.  Over time the pile grows and starts to resemble a hill (worthy of being climbed by any courageous youngster) and it is far more than I can manage. That’s the tricky part – runoff from unmanaged manure can contaminate water sources with high levels of nitrates. Luckily the poop mountain is a valuable resource to one of my best friends who also happens to be a hay farmer extraordinaire.  She comes in the fall when the fields have gone fallow and removes the mound of black gold.  The composted and fresh manure is spread on the hay fields where it will sit through the seasons feeding the hard worked soil.  Come summer lush hay will stand waiting to be mowed.

It was the other weekend, when she was here with her tractors and spreader, that I got to thinking about the fact that crap is simply part of life for all of us. It can slowly pile up over time and if not managed it can pollute our lives leaving us feeling stressed, depressed, and all around negative.  If you haven’t figured it out I am no longer talking about literal manure but the figurative crap that affects us all.  We’ve all had “shitty” days.  Heck! Some of us have even had weeks, months, years, or a lifetime of it.  But I’m starting to think that it is our reactions to these mostly unpleasant, sometimes devastating times of our lives that are the real causes of pollution. (My statements and ponderings are merely based on observations of myself and those around me and not a judgment of anyone.)  I’m sure we can all relate to having a day when everything just seems to go wrong.  Maybe you wake up late and rush out the door forgetting your travel mug of coffee only to get stuck in traffic on your way to work and arrive already thinking the day is ruined and your bad mood cannot be fixed.  This negativity stays with you throughout the day making the hours pass slowly only to follow you home at night to find that your kids and spouse are extra annoying and you have no motivation to do anything other than numb your negativity with your choice of soother (alcohol, food, Netflix, social media, sleep, etc.).  But does this erase the bad day or merely add to the pile that we want to avoid?  How many times have we chastised ourselves for over doing the thing we used to make us feel better?  We just keep piling the shit on!

Last week we had some unpleasant weather.  The rain, wind, and cold temps forced my usually free range animals to stay in their dry accommodations.  The thick mud around the barnyard made it nearly impossible for me to move the wheelbarrow from stall to stall and the slick pasture wasn’t exactly conducive for pushing it to my newly minimized manure pile.  Nonetheless, I persevered.  After all, waiting for nicer weather or better footing would only mean the piles would get bigger and more time and energy would be required to remove them.  Not to mention that the animals would be standing or lying in unnecessary filth.  I got to work, dressed in my muck boots and old Carhart jacket, laying old boards around the barn to make solid paths for me to balance and push the wheelbarrow.   I chose to clean one stall at a time and make multiple trips to the manure pile with lighter loads.  This scenario is nothing new for me.  Decades of experience has taught me how to manage weather and days like this.  (I remember being a kid and trying to move large loads in the mud and tipping the wheelbarrow over while still in the barnyard only to have to clean it all up again.  Experience is a wonderful teacher.)  As I was making progress with my chores I slipped while depositing one of the loads.  I landed right on my behind in the manure pile.  And just like I always do I stood up and kept going because, well, shit happens.

This leads me to think about the figurative shit in my life. If you’ve read some of my other posts then you know that I’ve experienced loss, illness, and setbacks.  I haven’t even touched upon some of the more difficult things yet.  My point is that unpleasant stuff is all part of living.  I believe it’s how I handle those “shitty” experiences that make for a life well lived. I don’t always see the bright side but do always try to learn so the next time I have a similar experience I might have an easier time dealing with it.  Just like experience taught me to not push an overfilled wheelbarrow in the mud, life lessons can teach me how to handle the next difficult situation.  I’ve also developed a new mindset when it comes to worrying about the daily little shitty moments.  If something won’t matter in 5 years then it isn’t worth worrying about for 5 minutes.  This I tell you has been a game changer.  Stuck in traffic?  No biggy I’ll get there.  Forgot to pay a bill on time?  I’ll do it tomorrow.  Fell in the mud?  That’s why I have a washing machine.  My son is doing terrible in school and not listening to my advice?  Well, it might affect him in 5 years but that will be his burden not mine.  This has freed up my mind to concentrate on the things that do matter like managing my finances, relationships, and health because these things will matter in 5 years and I want them to be the best they can be.  When it comes to these I will put in hours of effort, education, and contemplation (but never worry) because anything worthwhile requires action. 

I’ll share one example with you.  After my battle with Lyme disease and Anaplasmosis my body was completely out of balance.  The months of illness and then the months of antibiotic treatment destroyed my health from the inside out.  I may have been cured of the bacteria that was causing pain and fevers but I was left with both painful rosacea and gut issues. You see on a good day I live with both issues and had learned ways to manage them.  But the combination of both the illness and the cure left me with a face that was red and covered in small open wounds and a gut that just did not work.  I knew that my gut issues were caused by the doxycycline because it killed all the good bacteria along with the bad.  I knew my rosacea was caused by the excess inflammation and my faulty gut.  The funny thing is a dermatologist will prescribe doxy to treat rosacea because it is a wonderful anti-inflammatory and my face did look fine while I was taking it for the Lyme.  You see my dilemma?  I would continue the cycle if I followed conventional medicine.  I didn’t need to throw dirt over the pile of crap that was my health.  No, I needed to remove it even if it was one tiny piece at a time.  I got to work by changing my diet and taking probiotics.  All inflammatory foods were removed.  High fiber and prebiotic foods were added.  I then researched natural cures for the mess that was my face.  I didn’t want chemicals touching it.  My research led me to learn about the healing power of red clover.  I made my own face cream with red clover (that I picked from my fields) and coconut oil.  I also put my aloe plant to good use and applied it daily to my face.  Results were not overnight nor did they happen after weeks but slowly over months both my gut and face were healed.  That journey started 2 years ago and I’m happy to report that once again I have both issues under control.  I even get complimented on my beautiful complexion. I must also add that this process was made easier by outside support.  My husband reminded me to keep my face covered during the harsh winter months and bought me a new hat to block the summer sun.  He never complained about my stinky concoctions and supported my way of eating.  But most of all he never saw me as less than beautiful even when I didn’t dare look at my own reflection. 

Sometimes it’s when we are faced with these situations that we really learn just how much we can handle and how much we can thrive.  I could have easily taken medications to treat my symptoms but I would never have been cured.  I might have seen quicker results but they wouldn’t have been the lasting results that I’ve experienced.  Living with figurative shit is much like living with the literal kind.  Life’s unpleasantness can be likened to my daily manure picking.  I can dislike it, procrastinate on cleaning it, and then complain about it piling up and feel terrible for allowing the filth to accumulate. Or I can see it as part of the life that I have been given.  I can think of the work as exercise that makes me stronger.  I can take pride in a well maintained property and life.  I can manage the ever growing pile and benefit from the knowledge I gain just as I do the rich dark soil that grows my crops and enriches the pastures.  And I can remember that none of the muckiness has to be dealt with alone and maybe someone else can benefit from my experiences just like my bestie helps me manage my manure pile and uses it to fertilize her hay fields.