Ahh….it’s Spring! The snow has melted and the mud has dried. The crocuses are in full bloom. Daffodils and hyacinths are poking up through the soft earth. The days are filled with the sound of bird songs and spring peepers are peeping the night away. Hawks and crows are arguing over territory while the bald eagle remains perched on his favorite fishing tree. Wood ducks and mallards have returned to the pond and the turtles are basking on the rocks. My horses and goats are soaking in the warmth and the hens are laying. Life is good as I spend my days dizzy with thoughts of all I want and need to do. It is the season of renewal; a time to be productive. But before I get busy with all that, I need to take some time to reflect on the past twelve months.

To just think that a year ago I wrote Time to Change. It was the start of the pandemic and so much was unknown. There was so much fear and panic. Now here I am, still social distancing and virtual schooling, breathing a sigh of relief. Somehow this latest trip around the sun was significant. The craziness has settled down and toilet paper and paper towels are once again easy to purchase. Seeing people in masks is normal and slathering your hands in sanitizer after shopping is automatic. My little family of four had a healthy year and any of my loved ones who were affected by Covid are thriving. It hasn’t been ideal and it took some adjustment, but we managed to survive one heck of a year. Hopefully, as more and more people receive the vaccine, life will go back to what it was and should be - smiling faces, warm embraces, family gatherings, and children playing on playgrounds and not on computers. I pray everyone remembers the year we had and they appreciate the simple things like hugging and laughing with friends.

“Many, perhaps, from so simple a flower,
This little lesson may borrow,
Patient today, through its gloomiest hour,
We come out the brighter tomorrow.” - Miss H.F. Gould

Last year at this time I had the nuthatch to remind me to have the courage to face a crowd and to see the advantage of a negative situation and the bluebird to remind me that I need not lose my joy while coping with the harsh reality we all had to face. Those two birds really helped me get into the right headspace to deal with the pandemic. I was not looking forward to virtual schooling and stressful shopping trips. I worried about the health and safety of loved ones. I wondered how I would feel not seeing friends and family. Surprisingly, the kids adjusted to google classroom while I handled the lines at the grocery stores and I had a lot of fun with my little bubble of people while checking in with loved ones at a distance. So this spring I was expecting (well hoping) to see Little Nutty and Mr. Blue again. However, I have yet to see a bluebird and there are just too many nuthatches hanging around the feeders to know who’s who. But, I never despair because good old Mama Nature always gives me the sign I need. This spring she gave me two other daily visitors to get me to wondering- a mockingbird and gray squirrel and they did not disappoint.

Every autumn through winter I hang bird feeders, suet cakes, and PB & Seed pinecones from the trees and deck. I love helping and watching the birds (and the squirrels) throughout the colder months. I had just hung my last PB & Seed on the deck at the beginning of March when a solitary mockingbird landed on the railing. I hadn’t seen one of them at the feeders all winter and I was shocked to see him on this particularly cold and blustery day. He was all puffed up and looking inquisitively at me through the French doors. Then for the weeks that followed he would return to the deck every morning at the same time. I thought, “This must be a sign. Okay mockingbird, what do you have to tell me?”

The mockingbird isn’t flashy with his gray-brown plumage and white markings. Usually found alone or in a pair he could easily go unnoticed if it wasn’t for how vocal he is. The mockingbird isn’t like other songbirds with their sweet cheery songs. Oh no, he is even better! The mockingbird can mimic the calls and songs of other birds as well as car alarms and creaking gates. This ability can either entertain people or drive them crazy. I can’t imagine waking up to a car alarm only to learn that a resident mockingbird is just doing his thing. Fortunately, I don’t live in an area where this sound is common but I did witness something alarming the other day. My chickens were running and squawking about the lawn. I could tell that they were distressed. I opened the front door to see if a hungry fox was looking for lunch. That’s when I heard the call of a red-tailed hawk. It sounded so close to the house. No wonder the girls were upset. I tried looking for the source of the sound and there in the tamarack tree just above the feeder was the mockingbird doing his best hawk impersonation. Well, needless to say, the chickens were in hiding and not a single other bird was at the feeder. My mischievous morning caller just made my day (even if he terrorized my hens and the hungry songbirds).

I love that I got to witness that and share the story with my family. What was the significance of this daily visitor though? Well, I learned that mockingbird teaches you how to discover your voice, all while showing you what inspires and ignites your soul. Hmm….Now that is interesting because my only complaint as of recent was that I spend so much time tending to all the things that need to get done (mom and adult stuff) and not enough on what I want to get done (creative and fun stuff). This year of having the kids home with me 24/7 has been sort of a buzz kill. I mean I love them and want them to be safe but I also want them to be self-sufficient and less up my butt. Yup. I need some serious quiet time. I’d like to be able to write something like this without constant interruption. So I found it interesting to learn that the mockingbird symbolizes qualities such as protection, safety, security, and family unity. Boy! As if we didn’t have enough of that in 2020! But it also symbolizes boundaries, communication, gratitude, innocence, inventiveness, and playfulness. Now that’s what I’m talking about. This spring and the rest of 2021 are going to be filled with more of those starting with boundaries; my kids, especially the big one, will be expected to be more self-reliant and less mom reliant. But mostly I’m looking forward to playfulness and inventiveness. I have so many ideas that need to make into reality. Funny, I guess the mockingbird showed up at the perfect time.

At this time I also had my other rascally gray-brown visitor keeping me constantly amused. He was the only squirrel who was brave enough to come over to the house for a snack. Each day he’d climb the post and scamper along the railing with his little fluffy tail twitching in anticipation of his peanut buttery treat. When he’d catch me looking he would freeze in place, staring innocently while hunched low, waiting for me to lose interest and turn away. Sometimes I’d try to approach him for a close-up photo but he was apparently camera shy. He would jump down and retreat only to reappear a few seconds later his shiny black eyes and quivering nose appearing at the edge of the decking. And so it went like this for days and days until the last pine cone was stripped of its seeds and sticky coating.

It comes as no surprise then that seeing a squirrel is a sign to take life a little less seriously and to enjoy the wonders of the world. Additionally, it reminds you to be adaptable when last-minute changes need to be made. Well, I certainly can wonder and I’m pretty good at adapting, but the squirrel also encourages you to surrender and allow things to happen. That is easier said than done. Surrendering is definitely out of my comfort zone. I can go with the flow with the best of them but there are some things in life for which I need to have a plan. It is at these moments that having the squirrel as your spirit animal is ideal. It is great to be a planner and organizer so I am ready for what the future holds but it isn’t worth wasting all my energy on something that hasn’t happened yet. I must remember to just be in the moment.

Learning these qualities of the squirrel really put my mind at ease. Recently I learned something that left me feeling less than thrilled and quite a bit anxious. You see I learned that surrounding farmland just a mile or so away from me is being bought up to be developed with high-density housing. I fear a change to my way of life and am already devising an exit strategy. I love my house and property but I love open space and quiet even more. I thought I’d live here until I grew old and died but now that may not happen. However, I am trying not to get too concerned. After all, everything is just talk. I’ll implement my plan when I see ground being broken. For now, I’ll enjoy my farm and my neighbors as much as possible while also looking at potential new homes with even more room to roam. Who knows! Maybe a future move will give me so much more to wonder about.

Spring is the season of renewal. I’ll be reminded of that as I watch the buds form on the trees, spring flowers push up through the soil, birds building nests, and woodchucks waking from their slumber. I’ll have the wisdom of the mockingbird and squirrel to keep me in the present so I can enjoy every bit of this season as it blends into the next. And as I work on preparing my garden and sowing my seeds I’ll continue to wonder about new beginnings and what my future may hold.

THE CROCUS'S SOLILOQUY

By Miss H.F.Gould (1789-1865)

Down in my solitude under the snow,

Where nothing cheering can reach me;

Here, without light to see how to grow,

I'll trust nature to teach me.

I will not despair, nor be idle, nor frown,

Locked in so gloomy a dwelling;

My leaves shall run up, and my roots shall run down,

While the bud in my bosom is swelling.

Soon as the frost will get out of my bed,

From this cold dungeon to free me,

I will peer up with my little bright head;

All will be joyful to see me.

Then from my heart will young petals diverge,

As rays of the sun from their focus;

I from the darkness of earth will emerge

A happy and beautiful Crocus!

Gaily arrayed in my yellow and green,

When to their view I have risen,

Will they not wonder how one so serene

Came from so dismal a prison?

Many, perhaps, from so simple a flower

This little lesson may borrow—

A patient today, through its gloomiest hour,

We come out the brighter tomorrow!