Letter of Reflection
Dear Fellow Wonderers,
Well we made it! 2020 is finally coming to a close and I’m sure so many of us are shaking our heads looking back on the year. It has certainly been a roller coaster ride and I can only hope everyone had just as many high points as they did low. With 2021 on the horizon I’m sure many of you are making plans for the new year, thinking about resolutions to be made and improvements you’d like to see. I was about to sit down and ponder those same things but instead I’m going to take some time to reflect upon my past year because, to be quite honest, I feel like I didn’t accomplish very much. It definitely did not go exactly as I had planned back on January 1, 2020.
This idea to reflect came to me while I was beating myself up for not completing a single post during the month of December (even though I started one on the 15th). But then I stopped my self-chastisement and remembered that even though I did not have a grand wondering I did produce four original poems. So, you see, I did accomplish something this month. I just need to apply that same thinking to the other areas of my life that I feel did not live up to my expectations. After all, nothing worth while comes easy, no success comes without failure, and sometimes things are just simply out of our control.
It’s so easy to have dreams and make plans. It’s quite a bit harder to execute them. It is really difficult to stay on track when there is a major upset to said plans. Sometimes things happen that completely derail them. I can’t help but think that maybe the year would have turned out a lot differently for all of us if a pandemic didn’t happen. There’s always a maybe. Maybe I would have accomplished more if I didn’t have the kids home from school. Maybe I would have ridden the horses more if the weather was better. Maybe I’d be a supermodel if I didn’t bake (and eat) so much sourdough bread. You see? Upsets.
Unfortunately, a little thing called life happens and plans have to change. But upsets and change don’t negate all the progress that we do make. I just need to remind myself of that point the next time an injury halts my workout routine or I get a rejection letter when I submit something that I’ve written. The fact is my fitness will rebound just fine after a week or month off and the disappointment of rejection doesn’t cancel out the fact that some people do enjoy reading my website. After all traffic to it has nearly doubled this year.
So, I can’t be too upset about the progress that I made during 2020. My fitness has improved and I managed to write 24 posts and 10 new poems. But the real accomplishment is the self awareness that I gained from writing and sharing my wonderings. Not only did I improve my mindset but I also helped people who were able to relate to what I shared. I was able to strengthen old relationships and build new friendships by sharing my thoughts and insights. It really was a great year for me as far as that goes. Even if only one person received enjoyment or comfort from my writing then not a single minute out of all the hours spent at my computer was wasted.
That being said I sat down and read through all 24 of 2020’s posts to see just how good of a year I actually had. You know what? It was pretty amazing (even with all the losses, mishaps, and change of routine). I had some great experiences and learned some valuable lessons all while being home. I must admit it’s easy to enjoy life when you are surrounded by nature and beings that you love. What follows is a short list of some (but certainly not all) of the lessons I learned from just wondering my way along 2020. I hope you enjoy it!
The only person I have to be held accountable to is me but I’m not sure if I can hold myself accountable. - Now What!
We are programmed to think that we should avoid discomfort. But being human, especially an adult human, means we have to feel pain from time to time. -Barbs and Scars
And why shouldn’t we have what the hens have. We should feel free to sing our egg song of accomplishment and squawk when feeling threatened. We should be comfortable to sit and sigh while enjoying the sun and we should excitedly meander and explore life together. -Choose Your Brood
Just because life is different and more stressful doesn’t mean we can’t see the world through the eyes of our younger and more imaginative selves. - Time to change
Given the current state of the world, I feel that most of us are living within a gray area. We are stuck in the fuzzy area between the lives we knew and what they will be like once all of this settles. It is as though we are in limbo, peering through a veil of mist, trying to remain calm as we navigate our way through the uncertainty and fear. We no longer have the luxury of black and white thinking. -Embrace the Gray
I’m not one person who has to do it all. I’m just one person who has to do what they love and the rest will also get done. -Perspective
Every year, every new experience, and every new heartache brings me closer to the person I am meant to be. What would be the point of feeling all the joy and sorrow if it didn’t change me into a better version of myself? -Metamorphosis
I can’t change the world. I probably can’t even change one person’s opinion. Still, I can keep my mind as open as my heart and do my best to raise my kids to be empathetic and honest individuals. -No Small Thing
But what if we looked for the hidden little pictures inside of the bigger one? Couldn’t we find so much more beauty and learn so many more lessons? I’m sure you know I think we can. -Verdure and Veritas
But I’m trying to do the best for my children while also trying to do the best for myself. Somedays that is no easy balancing act. Fortunately, I have my animal guides to help me make sense of it all. - Mother Duck(er)!
But in our culture that praises flawless youthful complexions it can be hard for some of us to look in the mirror and appreciate the proof that we’ve already lived half (or more) of our lives. Fortunately, for those of us not aging like a Kardashian, wabi-sabi can help us embrace our imperfections. - My Perfectly Imperfect Life
So here I am with all this new self awareness after wondering down a fox inspired rabbit hole. I’m left feeling pretty positive about where I’m at in life and definitely more appreciative of my mother. I wish I could have been more sympathetic towards her during her mid life crisis. And yes it is a crisis when your identity changes. -Vixens
It’s these moments and memories that make the darker times all the more bearable. So my advice to you is to keep looking for the loveliness in all the people, places, and events that fill your life if you want to continue to enjoy it. - Little Gifts
You just have to face the darkness so you can come out into the light. That is the beauty of being human; recognizing that you can always become a better version of yourself and support others while they do the same. - Nocturnal Clarity
In the end, all of it - positive and negative, happiness and sorrow, love and hate , success and failure - adds up to make you distinctly you and you don’t have to wait to be cracked open to show all your layers. Go ahead, don’t worry about polishing yourself up. Let the world see what you are really made of! - Sentiment about Sediment
We have the givers and takers, the destroyers and preservers, the haters and lovers, the polluters and tree-huggers and somehow we need to find a way to balance (not cancel) each other out. We all have different priorities and our own self interests we want to protect. - Time Change
Well, that’s all I’m going to share for now. I sincerely hope you’ll continue to wonder along with me during 2021. Please feel free to comment below or contact me if you have any wonderings you’d like to see explored.
Wishing you all a Happy, Healthy, and Humorous New Year,
Stephanie
Thumbnail Photo by Markus Winkler from Pexels
