Chasing Waterfalls
“Don't go chasin' waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast” -TLC
I pulled over to the side of the road behind a red SUV. I wasn't sure if I was at the right location but it was where my GPS led me. Nervously, I glanced at my reflection in the review mirror and psyched myself up. Unsure if I should be the first one to get out of my vehicle, I busied myself by texting my husband my location and taking a sip from my water bottle. I was thirty minutes from home in a strange town about to walk into the woods with people I never met.
Once I got over myself, I put on my hat and gloves and exited my vehicle. To my relief, four women were standing across the street talking to one another. I decided to approach them and my heart sank when I was met with silence. I quickly introduced myself and waited for what felt like an eternity for a glimmer of recognition. Surely, one of them would respond. And then one by one the ladies introduced themselves and I was part of the conversation.
As the five of us stood on the side of the road, we waited for Mia, the woman who organized this not-so-clandestine meeting. She was running five minutes late so I was confident that she would pull up at any second and she did. The adventure was about to begin.
Hold on to your butts dear readers because this tale is about to get wild. I just. Picture it, a group of six middle-aged women as diverse as their ethnicities (we had them covered better than a contrived made-for-TV movie) about to embark on a group hike through the woods and rugged terrain of the Appalachian trail. Only one of us had covered this ground before so she took the lead while the rest of us blindly followed. Within minutes we were all chatting and admiring the beauty of our surroundings. At the base of a waterfall, we came face to face with our first challenge of crossing a stream and as a group, we determined that we could do it.
One by one we hopped from rock to rock until we reached the other side. Okay, it wasn't that graceful but nothing more than a few feet got wet. Excited and feeling pretty proud of ourselves, we came to a stone staircase that led up the side of the waterfall. Challenge accepted. In a single file, we made the climb only to come to another part of the stream to cross.
I couldn't helped but laugh. We were out exploring the woods like children. I felt giddy inside. It was more fun to do this with peers than with my offspring. We helped each other across by passing back walking sticks and offering hands. When everyone was safe and dry on the other side we quickly came upon our next challenge - a steep hill.
As we ascended, it became obvious that two members of the group were not prepared for the strenuous climb. They opted to stay behind and get to know each other while the rest of us continued on. It was worth the effort when we reached level ground. After a few minutes of delighting in our surroundings, we reversed our course since we didn't want to leave the other women alone too long.
Once the group was reunited, we began our return journey down the hill, across the creek, down the stone staircase, and across the creek again. We stopped and took photos. Checked in with each other to make sure everyone was feeling good. By the time we got back to the cars we were fully abuzz with conversation. We shared some laughs and heartfelt farewells. I think everyone left with a little more joy and a greater desire to go hiking again.
Keep in mind that most of us were strangers. I only knew Mia and I know that she knew at least one other woman. Everyone else was meeting for the first time. I can't help but appreciate that all of us are from different walks of life. We all have a story about how we ended up in Orange County NY. I've been here for decades while some of the others are recent transplants. I wonder if the six of us had randomly found ourselves shopping in the same store would we do more than exchange polite smiles and generic niceties? Probably not. We might not have even noticed one another as we rushed around busy and distracted. However, on this day, every single one of us chose to slow down and do something enjoyable and now we would definitely acknowledge and even embrace each other if we were to bump into one another while out running errands.
I bring up the fact that we are all different because it makes what I have to say next that much more meaningful. There are two reasons why Mia created the Women’s Hiking/Walking Group and why the rest of us and many others joined it. These are the commonalities that bind all women and they are the desire to be safe and have community.
During the hike, I was telling the story of the first time I met Mia. It was January and I had just joined the group. The two of us were the only ones crazy enough to brave the weather to go snowshoeing. I was so excited to meet a potential new friend and spend an afternoon out in nature. My husband had concerns about me going off to meet a stranger at the preserve. He was afraid I was being catfished and feared that something bad would happen. I assured him that I did the required amount of social media snooping and felt confident that the person I was meeting was indeed the woman represented on Facebook. However, I promised to carry my pepper spray and text him her vehicle information.
My recounting of my first experience with the group was well received by one of my companions. She said her husband was uneasy about her going off to meet random strangers for a hike for fear that the women’s hiking group was just a ploy to lure unsuspecting females to a remote area. Then everyone in the group started sharing their anxieties about hiking alone.
There are so many things that can go wrong when a person is out on a solo hike. There is always a chance of getting injured or encountering a dangerous wild animal. What if you are in an area with little to no cell service? How do you navigate if you are lost? But the one thing we all agreed scared us the most was encountering a strange man. The fact that the sight of another human strikes more fear into us than a black bear is mind-blowing. However, that is the truth. As women, we are conditioned to always be looking over our shoulders and to always think ten steps ahead. Likewise, most of us were raised to smile and be polite. This is why so many women find themselves in precarious situations. It’s as if our instincts are at odds with our social conditioning. Heaven forbid we bruise a man’s ego for the sake of our well-being. And that’s how we ended our adventure, standing on the side of the road talking about men (not our husbands) and why women are expected to smile. I’ll let you go down that rabbit hole if you would like because on that day we were all expressing happiness with our faces simply out of pleasure and not out of obligation.
I left that day feeling exhilarated. I got to spend a few hours with a group of wonderful women who like me cared little about how they looked or what they wore. All of us were there to see Fitzgerald Falls and hike the beautiful, rugged terrain. The bonus was good conversation peppered with laughter. I’m sure I’m not the only one who arrived feeling apprehensive because that’s usually how anyone feels when doing something new for the first time. As I drove home I thought about how glad I was about saying yes to joining that week’s hike while the chorus from Waterfalls played in my mind.
If you, like me, were a teen or young adult during the 90’s then you are most likely familiar with the song. TLC was huge during that decade and their music could be heard everywhere. I wonder how many of us sang along to Waterfalls without really listening to the lyrics. Heck, thirty years later all I remembered were the five lines I shared with you but even I know the ladies were not singing about literal waterfalls.
“Don’t go chasing waterfalls” is a metaphor used to warn people against pursuing dangerous behaviors and situations. The song references gang violence, unsafe sex, and drug use; all tempting situations that can lead to loss of life. Think about what happens when you chase a waterfall — sure, it’s beautiful, but then you fall right off a cliff. Lucky for me, I’m only interested in going hiking, making new friends, and seeing some real waterfalls from a safe distance. However, I wouldn’t be doing these things if I took my husband’s advice and only stuck to the lakes and the rivers that I’m used to. Well, more specifically the ponds and creeks we encounter on our daily walks around our neighborhood and hikes at the local preserve. (I know he is merely concerned about my safety but sometimes a girl’s got to go wild.)
Sitting here writing this a few weeks after the hike at Fitzgerald Falls, I find it funny that on that day when I drove to an unfamiliar location for a not-so-illicit affair, I felt like I was taking a huge risk. I guess it was one but it’s the kind of risk we should all take. We should all pursue interests that make us happier, healthier, and more connected. Maybe we shouldn’t chase waterfalls but we can at least go look at them.
Here are the links shared in this post.
Fitzgerald Falls - https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/new-york/fitzgerald-falls
Why Women Worry: A Fear of Hiking Alone is a Product of Our Society- https://thetrek.co/why-women-worry-a-fear-of-hiking-alone-is-a-product-of-our-society/
Why Do People Expect Women to Smile - https://www.bustle.com/p/why-do-people-expect-women-to-smile-67360
The Meaning of TLC’s “Waterfalls” - https://extrachill.com/dont-go-chasing-waterfalls-meaning
Thanks for wondering along with me. I hope you enjoyed my “Girls Gone Wild” tale and the trip down memory lane to 1994 but most of all I hope I gave you something to wonder about. All the photos were taken by a member of our group, Kelly M R.
